Meet Phil: MIT grad student, food lover, fitness enthusiast, literature buff, organic chemist by day... superhero by night.
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Music: "Let Me Back In." Performed and recorded by Negative Ghostrider. Used with permission.
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PHIL: Finally. FEMALE SPEAKER: MIT grad student, food lover, fitness enthusiast, literature buff, organic chemist by day, super hero by night.
PHIL: Soon as my mother had me, I was ready to go. Came out of there, running and jumping. I haven't chewed gum since I'm a role model. What's that stupid train in Harry Potter?
FEMALE SPEAKER: Hogwarts Express.
PHIL: It's a Hogwarts Express. I just took my sweatshirt off and it cut my forehead. I found the photo of Natalie Portman.
FEMALE SPEAKER: I think Phil is weird.
PHIL: You know that Paula Deen was married to James Dean.
FEMALE SPEAKER: What?
PHIL: A lot of people don't know that. You know what my favorite dance move is? Slapping people with my tie. This is my hood. Don't take my advice.
IKE: I want to take it.
PHIL: I'm going to sign up for ChristianMingle.com. The commercial says, find God's match for you on ChristianMingle.com or at Starbucks like every other self-respecting American.
MALE SPEAKER: Did you seriously just end your sentence with a preposition?
PHIL: I can't talk about my personal life in front of the students.
MALE SPEAKER: I love you, Phil.
MALE SPEAKER: We love you, Phil.
PHIL: OK.
PHIL: Tom Cruise says I'm silently judging you. There's a girl that was picking on me at school, and on the way to school I remember trying to make up my mind as to whether I was going to stick my tongue out at her or hit her with my bag. I never felt so close to dying in my entire life.
MALE SPEAKER: It's a sticky bun.
PHIL: I can't. I really can't
[MUSIC PLAYING]